Asdfghjkl

Yang paling menyakitkan adalah....
Disaat kamu selalu ada untuk seseorang, tetapi saat kamu membutuhkan orang itu... Dia hilang.
Disaat kamu melihat ia bersedih, kamu berusaha menenangkan nya, mendengarkan cerita nya, memeluk nya dengan dekap hangat penuh kasih sayang. Tetapi saat kamu bersedih, ia bahkan tak bertanya "kamu kenapa?".
Disaat kamu memberikan 100% perhatian mu untuknya, tetapi ia tidak memberikan sepersen pun perhatian nya untukmu.
Disaat kamu memberikan separuh waktu mu untuknya, mencuri sedikit waktu mu untuk berbincang dengan nya. Tetapi, ia sama sekali tidak memberi luang waktu untukmu, bertemu dengan mu.
Disaat kamu selalu mencoba untuk tidak mengecewakan nya, tetapi ia selalu mengecewakan mu. Tetapi kamu selalu sabar.

Dan yang paling menyakitkan lagi adalah....
"Dia lagi apa ya?", "Kok belum ngabarin sih.., kemana ya?", "Apa pentingnya aku buat dia?", "Pernah ga sih dia mikirin aku layaknya aku selalu mikirin dia?", "Apa dia ngerasain apa yang aku rasain?", "Dia kangen ga ya sama aku?", "Seberapa banyak sayang nya dia ke aku?"
Ketika ia selalu menghantui otak mu, dan memunculkan pertanyaan-pertanyaan dari benak dan pikiran yang kita sendiri tidak tahu jawaban nya.

Dan yang sangat menyakitkan adalah.....
Ketika kamu bingung, memilih saran dari "hati" mu agar tetap bertahan dan saran dari "otak" mu agar segera berhenti.
Ketika kamu berjuang dengan susah payah untuk mempertahankan nya dengan menutup mata, hati dan telinga agar tidak berpaling. Tetapi, ia hanya menyiakan mu.

Hi! Long time no posting here, there's a lot of tasks, homeworks and activities that I can't leave.

So here I am, an officially Senior High School student.

I'm waking up at 5:00 am and pray shubuh, after that I usually sleep again. My mom and dad waking me up again at 6:00 am and I'm starting to go to the bathroom with my eyes still like don't want to open and I still can't really clearly see. After taking a bath I go to my bedroom and start dressing. Sometimes, I prepare my school schedule in the morning after I'm dressing. HAHAHAHAHA. My mom start calling me and ask me to have my breakfast. I go to school with my brother, Yodi. But if he can't, I'm with my dad. I usually go to school at 6:30 am. My school start at 6:50 am.

I'm at X.1 class that there are 28 students in it. Before we start our lesson, we lined up in front of the class and recite the pledge of our senior high school's.

Ikrar SMA Nasima

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Ashaduallailahaillah waashaduannamuhammadarrasulullah. Rodditubillahirrabba wabilislamidina wabimuhammadinnabiyyawarasula. Wabilqurani imamawahukma wabilmuslimina ikhwana.

We are the students of SMA Nasima. 

We are always faithful to Allah and his messenger. Dedicate to our parents, respect to our teacher love our friends and have no enemy. Study hard and recite Qur'an. Keep on praying and creative.

Indonesian Youngster.

I'm an Indonesian youngster, the pillar of country and the nation's hope. Ready to defense our country, we always study hard.

After we recite the pledge, we can go to our classroom. After that, we sing the Indonesia Raya song, read Asmaul Husna and Al-Qur'an. 

Our first break is at 9:00 am. My school have no canteen, but some of my friends sell foods so we can buy it. Our second break is at 11:30 am. My school have set lunch for us by catering and the food is so f*in DELICIOOOOUUUSS. If one or two or three or more didn't come to school, I take their lunchies. So sometimes I can eat 3 times at school. First one is from my friend who sell his foods, and for the second and third is from my lunch and my friend's lunch. 

After lunch, we pray dzhuhur and at 12:30 pm, we start our lessons again until 3:00 pm. Before got back home, we have to pray ashar too.

So, I got back round 4:00 pm. I got back home with my friend named Luthfira by motorcycle. But if she can't, I sometimes with my brother or riding angkot.

Tiring rite? 

But, there's a lot of happiness there! 

I can meet my friends, talk with them about random things, joking with them until I'm laughing hard, watch movies, see my crush, and etc. I usually talks with my chair-mate named Icha when we just like gettin' bored with the lesson. Or tell jokes with my boys named Satya, Fathur, Haidar, Alvin etc. When the first break is start, I like to visit the other class to meet my friends like Luthfira, Resa, Ayu etc. 

I love my school, my friends. 

But not the lessons. 

HAHA.

I just open my laptop to browse some quotes pict for my collection on weheartit. Damn yooo, I just found many Glee quotes but I choose Rachel Berry's quotes and DANG! her quotes IS SOOOO MEEE!

I'm still in my holiday after my midterms, and today my mom wake me up at 5:30 am and ask me to sweep my backyard. I plug on my earphone and I'm listen to the music while sweeping.

"All I've ever wanted was to feel special and to feel chosen"

I don't know why, but this quote is soo meee. Feel Special, how you describe about "Feel Special"? 

It is how you treat like a princess with someone you love but just you and only you. It is someone who give you something that just you who have it, call you a cute nickname that just you who called like that by that someone. Feel Chosen is when someone tell you their stories, secrets but just you who know it. 

Once, I've ever feel special and chosen until I know that he do that to other girls too. So, now I'm not feeling special and chosen anymore.

Today's weather is the most great weather to just wearing a Bali shirt and short. So damn hot here, I have turn on my AC but it still feels hot gaahhh.

"What can you do when your good isn't good enough?!"

Well, it's explain that what you have done with your best performance, with your best effort and you have do the best but it's still wrong. And you just like wanna scream "WHAT THE FCK SHOULD I DO TO MAKE IT GOOD ENOUGH??!!" I've felt that. When I'm done trying my best to make him happy, proud and everything he ask me to do I always trying to do that. But, I'm still that wrong at his eyes and I don't know why and now.. I don't know what I've to do anymore. I'm tired of being wrong every time. I've fight for him, but all I got is just a tears and I'm just wasting my whole time thinking and crying over him.

I just wanna let out what stuck in my head and it's just like want to expload. 

Pesantren Nasima 2013

Aku udah jadi anak SMA (!!!!). Tepatnya sekarang aku sekolah di SMA Nasima.
Baru kemarin, aku pulang dari pesantren Nasima untuk santriwati (murid perempuan) selama seminggu, tanpa orangtua, gadget dan kudet. Soalnya di pesantren Nasima gaboleh makan Pop Mie. #duaarrr.
Selama seminggu, kita full kegiatan agamis seperti sholat dhuha, sholat tahajud, mengaji sampai kajian-kajian agama yang lain. Tapi, ga cuma kegiatan agama aja. Ada juga pentas seni dan KBM biasa.
 

Waktu itu pesantren untuk santriwati di mulai pada hari Kamis, 18 Juli 2013 sampai Rabu, 24 Juli 2013.

Barang-barang bawaan ku lumayan banyak. Ada bed cover, selimut, tas ransel dan koper yang isinya alat tulis, alat mandi, baju dan rok. Oya, selama pesantren dilaksanakan santriwati gaboleh pake celana jadi harus pake rok atau sarung.

• July, 18th 2013

taken by: mas razaq, photographer sekolah.

cc: itu kantong plastik indomaret isinya snack, dan itu di pilih. gaboleh ada junk food (re: ciki)

Setelah itu, koper dan tas dibawa ke ruang inap masing-masing anak. Kebetulan aku dapet ruang inap 2, ruang Azar di kelas X-2. Setelah itu, pembukaan pesantren Nasima untuk santriwati officially di buka sehabis sholat asar. Waktu naik-naikin koper nya, aku di bantu sama temenku namanya Fira. hhe.

Sehabis itu, sholat asar lalu ngabuburit di tenda ta'aruf. Ada kajian-kajian islami untuk perempuan.

Menunggu buka puasa

Setelah itu, akhirnya buka puasa jugaaaa. Aku lupa takjil hari pertama apa. Setelah makan takjil, kita sholat maghrib dan makan makanan beratnya. Dan aku juga lupa apa menu buka puasa di hari pertama ^^" makan selesai, lalu ada waktu setengah jam untuk ngelakuin yang lain lalu siap-siap sholat isya' dan tarawih 23 rakaat. Woof! 23 rakaat, cukup capek. Soalnya kalo di rumah cuma 11 rakaat.

Sehabis sholat, ada kajian fiqih tentang wanita dan hukum-hukum yang berlaku di islam untuk wanita lalu tidur.

• July, 19th 2013

Bangun tahajud - makan sahur (lupa lauknya apa) - sholat subuh - tidur lagi

*3 jam kemudian*

X-2, lagi di lab fisika

 Jadi, dari jam 7:30 kita sholat dhuha seperti biasa. Para santriwan (siswa laki-laki) juga masuk sekolah seperti biasa. Santriwati belajar sampai jam 9:30 lalu belajar fiqih terapan dan life skill. Life skill semacam ekstra kurikuler, bekal untuk minat bakat kita di suatu bidang. Kebetulan aku ikut jurnalistik, dan itu sama sekali ga di potret sama mas razaq -_- Dilanjutin lagi ke sholat dzhuhur, lalu santriwan pulang dan santriwati mulai melakukan aktifitas biasa yaitu BTA lalu boleh istirahat sampai jam 3 sore.

Jeng..jeng!! Beduk yang di nanti-nanti pun tiba!!

ini takjil nya donat sama ager-ager

Sehabis maghrib, makan berat, sholat isya' dan sholat tarawih, kajian hari ini adalah sosialisasi tentang Al Qur'an elektronik dan ada dokumentasi tentang "Ibu", selanjutnya pergi ke mimpi masing-masing a.k.a tidurrr.

• July, 20th 2013

Bangun dari Qiyamul Lail jam 2:30, langsung sahur.

Hari ketiga, akhirnya nemu foto waktu lagi sahur. Lagi jelek-jelek nya wajah. Nge-blur lagi fotonya -_- gapapa deh buat dokumentasi. Hari ketiga kalo ga salah menu sahur nya daging, enaaakkk banget.

Waktu menjelang buka puasa, kita kedatangan bintang tamu dari SLB. Walaupun mereka punya banyak kekurangan, tapi mereka pintar! Pernah masuk tv lagi. Waktu di ceritain, aku nangis tapi untungnya ga di potret wkwk. Jadi, kita harus bersyukur dan ngegunain tubuh kita untuk sesuatu yang baik dan bermanfaat.

ada yang buta, keterbelakangan mental dan autis

Setelah anak-anak dari SLB tampil, akhirnya berbuka puasa dan untuk ketiga kalinya aku lupa menu makan nya :D

disitu duduk ku keliatan banget anti-mainstream

Setelah buka puasa lalu maghrib dan di lanjutkan dengan makan berat, sholat isya', sholat tarawih dan kajian. Nah kajian hari ini dari kakak-kakak UNES. Mereka memotivasi kita, yang aku petik sih "jangan lari dari masalah".

• July, 21th 2013

Hari keempat ini waktu pagi jam 6an, kedengeran ada suara yang ga asing. Lagunya JKT48, ternyata anak kelas 7 dan 9 lagi senam pagi. Setelah KBM, ada fiqih terapan tentang jenazah. 

Setelah kajian, BTA langsung jam istirahat. Ternyata mas Razaq lagi jalan-jalan ke lantai 2 tepatnya tempat ruang inap. Ketemu, terus minta di fotoin deh. Haha.

Malamnya, ada kajian tentang kewanitaan tentang Haid dan tentang kewanitaan yang sesuai dengan hukum islam. Waktu itu duduk sebelahnya Ica, malah ketawa-ketawa.

• July, 22th 2013

Hari kelima itu... Gaada fotonya aku dan aku cuma inget itu juga kalo-ga-salah praktek wudhu :-p

Kasih jadwal nya ajaya wkwk :-p

• July, 23th 2013

Hari ini keenam banyak foto! Tapi.... Waktu lagi buka puasa. Oya, hari itu juga latian musikalisasi puisi tapi tiba-tiba listrik nya anjlok tapi alhamdulillah nya hidup lagi.

Setelah sholat maghrib, buka puasa, isya' dan tarawih... Kita ada musikalisasi puisi yang bertemakan "Nabi Ibrahim AS" dan lucu nya, ruangan ku bikin musikalisasi tentang nabi Ibrahim tapi lebih menonjol ke "Ibu" tapi alhamdulillah nya dapet juara 3 \=D/

Ibrahim sayang Ibu =))

Dan takjil malam nya enaaaakkk banget. Siomay, makan 2kali deh akunya wkwkwk =)) setelah acara selesai, aku belum tidur! Malah main internet sama Vanessa :-p

• July, 24th 2013

Dan ini hari terakhir pesantren. Sehabis KBM langsung packing dan acara penutupan. Ternyata aku bawa camera pocket! HAHAHA. Tapi aku sembunyiin soalnya gabole bawa camera :-p kekekekek.

Dan akhirnya pulang kerumah masing-masing!! Nyesel banget ga nulis di buku biar bisa lebih jelas nerangin disini.... Tapi pengalaman ini berkesan banget, jadi tau cara wudhu yang bener, tentang sholat, puasa, tajwid bacaan Al Qur'an dan lain-lain tentang hukum Islam. Biar bisa jadi muslimah yang benar :-D

photo source: pesantrenasima.weebly.com

Teman.

Dimana ada pertemuan, pasti ada perpisahan.

Buat aku, memories will never die. Disini sukanya aku nulis, aku bisa tumpahin semua cerita aku jadi aku bisa baca hasil karya tulisan aku sendiri. Mungkin belum terlalu mahir, tapi dengan segala cara aku nulis buat kalian... Temen-temen SMP.

Mungkin ga semua tentang kalian aku tulis semua disini, dan aku harap kalian berkesan dan sedikit meluangkan waktu buat ngebaca tulisan nya aku. :-3

Apasih arti "Teman" buat seorang Danti? 

❤. Teman itu keluarga. Keluarga kecil yang gatau siapa bapaknya, siapa ibunya. Keluarga kecil yang selalu ada disaat aku ngebutuhin mereka, keluarga kecil yang selalu menerima aku apa adanya. 

❤. Teman itu rumah. Rumah yang melindungi aku dari bahaya, rumah yang di isi orang-orang yang aku sayang, rumah yang menghangatkan dan nyaman.

❤. Teman itu pelawak. Mereka menghibur aku dengan canda nya, membuat aku bahagia dengan tawanya tanpa minta balasan apapun.

❤. Teman itu psikolog. Mendengar dan memberi saran buat aku waktu cerita. Dengan sabar mereka ngedengrin cerita aku yang terkadang itu-itu-aja dan berusaha nenangin aku.

❤. Teman itu orang baik. Mereka mau meminjamkan bahu nya saat aku butuh senderan, mau meminjamkan telinganya untuk ngedengerin cerita nya aku dan segala keluh kesahku, mau mengorbankan bajunya karena basah dari tangis ku, mau berbagi kehangatan dengan pelukan, berbagi keceriaan dengan canda-tawa nya <3

Susah-senang, canda-tawa, suka-duka dan semua yang telah kita lewati bersama gabakal gue lupain. Dari zaman kita masih bocah tengil ingusan yang terkadang sosoan sampai kita sudah agak cukup bersikap dewasa gabakal gue lupain.
Dari yang suka korea sampe yang suka ftv. Kelucuan-kelucuan kalian gabakal gue lupain, banyolan dan kekonyolan kalian gabakal pernah gue lupain. Dari yang paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing nyebelin sampe yang paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing  nyenengin. Dari yang paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing normal sampe yang paliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing alay :-p

 Friendship can never can't end.xoxo

My Life.

Here I am, sitting and typing my own story and what I feel now at my blog site. 

Everybody has their own life and different life story. I'm on my way to 16th and I know how it feels to treat like a shit. Everybody has their own opinion about me. Maybe they judge me that my life is full of happiness, fun, loves, etc. But if you look inside my heart, you'll know there's a big hole in my heart. I'm a 15th years old girl with damaged here and there.

I know I have intact family. I have my mom, my dad and my brothers. I know they love me, as same as I love them. But sometimes.. They are my problems. Sometimes my mom didn't except me as who I am, my dad always blame me and he has his negative thinking about me, my brothers always annoy me and make me sick. And I always locked my self in my bedroom and cry hard. Crying makes me feel better, but sometimes it won't stop. 

I know I have many friends. My friends always share smile, laugh, stories, and much more fun things that actually can make happy. They know me so much, but sometimes they just like trying to don't-want-to-know what's wrong with me. I always try to ask them about their family, and always listening when they ask me to hear their story and solve the problems. But I don't know, maybe I step the grenade and it's like KABOOM! The grenade is blown up and everything's messed up.

I know I have someone special in my life, yesterday. And for the thousand times I've lost him again and I'm sick of love. A couple should understand and know their partner's character. I've try my best to give everything what he asked to me and try to make it happen. Always trying to make him smile, laugh, comfortable and happy. But what he gave to me? He treat me like his robot. Man, I'm your girlfriend and you must treat me good like I treat you. Every human in this world ain't perfect, every body make mistakes! 

I always try my best to be a good girl with a good attitude and do the good things. But sometimes I'm tired. 

• I forgive to fast even they can't forgive me
• I apologize even though I'm not mistaken
• I care too much even they don't give a fuck to me
• I give too much even not given back 
• I too impatient even they cannot be patient
• I think about someone's feeling even they don't think about mine
• I help even they won't help me back
• I always there for them even they're not there for me
• I love even they actually hates me

I write this not that I a payback or not sincere. I want you all to know that my life isn't as easier as what you think and I want you to know that you have to respect what I've did to all of you. I've done doing many good things but don't you remember? All you just remember just the bead thing that I've done. 

HELLO, do you all never make any mistakes? I'm fucked up here. See your self first before you judge me. 

Sometimes, I think to change 'the good me' into 'the bad me' because I'm tired to being good but they treat me bad. But I know that I can't be like them.

I miss being a child. Whatever they are, everyone loves them. There's no problems, cry about someone, hurt and the worst thing that I ever feel now. We don't have to look great, everything was very simple and peaceful. All I have to do is play play play. All I have to know is fun fun fun. And all I have ever feel is love love love. 

And now I know why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up.

Happy Father's Day!

Daddy is my father. He is the hero of our family, the one who always protect us from danger. He always love us as same as Mom, Yodi, I and Rio. But sometimes he's annoying -_- he always ask me to do something that can do it by him self. But when I feel annoyed, I remember how he cared I grown up to be like now. 

I remember when he told me about my childhood, I pipis at my Dad's clothes when I slept on his body when I was a little girl. I laughed hard when my Dad told me about that :p I remember when my Dad kissed my little bro's lips. It was very funny, we all laughing hard. 

But when my Dad is mad, everybody keeps their silent and try to give what he want. My dad never use his hand for punching or use his feet for kicking. He's just use a loud voice and told us to not do the same mistakes again. 

Me, my big bro Yodi, and my little bro Rio always fighting and when my Dad's know that we were fighting, we always get the punishment. The punishment is he put us in the bathroom until we reconcile. And that punishment is working! We both playing with water until all of us are wet! :p

My Mom is the luckiest woman in the world who's got a man that love her so much. My Mom said that she and my Dad have a lot of inequality. But, they always understand each other. That's why I want to have a boyfriend and a husband like my Dad that always understand me and always except me as I am.

Happy Father's Day, Bapak. 

♥ Your one and only daughter.xoxo

GLEEK!

Because I will go to High School, I will post Glee. Because this musical drama tell us about life at High School. GLEE is the most inspiring drama musical I have ever watch! Do you ever watch it? If you're not, you've gotta watch it!

Why you love Glee so much?

   so, you wanna know WHY I love Glee so much? Really? Seriously? Are you sure you wanna know why I love Glee so much? WHY?????

• First, I love music so much. Glee is a musical drama that always sing a song about whet they're feel.
• Second, Glee told me about how to keep our friendship, how to reach our dreams, how to not look at people through physical, and etc. This musical drama told me about life.
• Third, it told me about how to gain leadership, hard-working, togetherness.

Sometimes, Glee's music is better than the original song. haha, that's what I'm thinking. Screw you if you have a different opinion :p

What's you favorite songs that sung by Glee?

   There's many songs that I love when the it's sung by Glee. And much of the songs that I dislike it, but when it's sung by Glee...I love it. Born This Way and Half Of Fame is stuck in my head lately. I don't know, when I watched Glee 3D Concert, I've fallen love with Born This Way by Lady Gaga and Hall Of Fame by The Script feat. Will.I.Am that sung by Glee.

damn, I love the t-shirt

I'm beautiful in my way'Cause God makes no mistakesI'm on the right track, babyI was born this way

Hall Of Fame by Glee

Who's character you most like?

   Character? I like them all, they have their own personality, they're unique, various. But most of all, I love Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, Sam Evans, Santana Lopez, Kurt Hummel and Quinn Fabray.

Why Rachel Berry?

Rachel Barbra Berry. Her real name is Lea Michel. She's one of other character that very...very inspiring me! She's cherish, cute, good at dressing, her voice is amazing, kind, hard-worker, dreamer that wanna make her dream come true. She is Finn's girlfriend. She's one of luckiest girl that has a cute and handsome boyfriend like Finn. Omg, their love story are everlasting! But Rachel know how to be Brody's girlfriend, but BroChel is just for now, FinChel is forever!

Why Finn Hudson?

WHY? You really wanna know WHY? Which girl who doesn't want to have a boyfriend like Finn Christopher Hudson? If there was a girl who doesn't want to have a boyfriend like Finn, they are F-R-EA-K.

Finn's real name is Cory Monteith. Finn is...HANDSOME, sexy, kind, gentleman, cute omg...HE IS PERVECT. He is Rachel's boyfriend and Quinn's ex-boyfriend. But, I prefer FinChel rather than FinQuinn. Or, maybe FinDant? HAHA.

 

Why Santana Lopez?
Santana Lopez's real name is Naya Rivera. She's mexican. She's hot, sexy, naught, bitchy. She's talented and at Glee, her character is antagonist as same as Quinn Fabray. She's a lesbian. She has a 'girlfriend' named Brittany Pierce. At McKinley, she's a cheerios co-captain and she's a Diva.

Brittany and Santana

Why Kurt Hummel?
Kurt Elizabeth Hummel is a gay. He's real name is Christopher Paul Colfer. Kurt is a cute, lovely, kind. I love him...I don't know why. I just love him the way he is. HAHA. Because he always confidence with his self. His 'boyfriend' named Blaine. 

Why you love Quinn Fabray?
Lucy Quinn Fabray is a hot girl, pretty, cute, bitchy, sexy. Her real name is Dianna Agron. Her voice is cute and sexy. She's Finn's ex-girlfriend. And she's now with Puckerman. She's famous, fabulous, a Diva and antagonist as same as Santana.

I love Glee so much. I always wish that Glee will make a Glee Season 5 so damn much. Glee rock, Glee will never die. Glee, I'm a Gleeks. Don't Stop Believin' and always hold on to the feelin'! \G/

One thing that ruin everything.

Congratulation Danti! You've passed the national examination.

Now you're going to wear PUTIH ABUABU and say good bye to PUTIH BIRU.

But not so fast...

How about you're score? Guess this is so bad. Because my score is too slight to pass the registration and rules for some school at Semarang. And the worst is... My mom look mad at me. Maybe she think "where Danti supposed to school?". But my friends say that this is not the real score, because at Wednesday there'll be one score that will distributed to all of the students of 9th grade. 

My mom think that I'm too much playing with my gadgets and ignore my study. No mom, you don't know how hard to study like math and science. Everybody has their ability. Maybe my ability isn't there, maybe my ability is in music or sport or cooking or anything. 

Yesterday, my mom came into my room and she ask me to give my galaxy tab and my cellphone to her. First, I give my galaxy tab but not my cellphone. And she ask me to give my cellphone but I don't want to give it to her. She spoke loudly to me. I'm crying and I threw my cellphone.

My mom pick it up and she threw my cellphone out of my window. 

And I'm crying.

Mom, someday I will prove to you that score doesn't mean anything about someone's successful. 

I locked my self in my bedroom, I don't wanna go out. I cry hard.

I prepare my things and planning to go to Tata's house. I don't eat, I'm just crying all day long and read some books that appear in my bedroom. I'm boring without my gadgets. 

And when my mom and dad go out, I opened my bedroom's door and start eat some foods. 

There's my brother and he said "Your cellphone plunged to the pond by mom", and suddenly I stop eat my foods. I'm  shock. But, I still have my galaxy tab.

And than I'm taking a bath and than back into my bedroom. I'm just reading, mirroring, talking to my self and doing something stupid in my bedroom to hush my boring. 

My mom, my dad and my brother laughing out there. I just can hear them laughing. Oh that's such a boring day. Locked my self in my bedroom and waste my whole day with sleeping.

My mom once ask me to join the dinner, but I'm not answering.

Sometimes, I think something that unfair. 

When my brother faced the national examination on 2011, his packet examination only 5. He also got helped by his friend who smart at math and his friend's packet is same as my brother's and that's why he got passed the national examination with good score.

But in my year, 2013. It's very different! I've got 20 packet and the packet's number isn't written on the packet's paper. There isn't same packet. Each students have their packet and different of each others. And I AM NOT HELP.

I've wonder if my mom see my result of my national examination, she'll hugged me and say "congratulation!" or whatever that makes me happy. And if she saw my score, she'll said "don't be sad, next year you've study harder than now". But... I've got my cellphone plunged into my pond. Fml.

CONGRATULATION.

The more mature, more and more problems.

My Parents always say that to me. They not scare me, but they care to me. My parents are born decades than me, they have experience dealing with issues ranging from the simplest, smallest to the largest and most difficult problems. They have been addressing the problem is not their problem. a.k.a someone's problems.

    I, who was 15 years old can not be considered 'adult' must have started to learn to deal with problems. not Not run away from problems.
I've feel much problems that I've solve. Not by my own self, sometimes..I ask my friends to help me and ask them to them to give me some advises.

Family, friends, school, love, boyfriend, money etc.

Sometimes, when I can't face the problems I cry loudly. Locked my self in my bedroom, hugging my favorite doll, talking and asking to my own self, feeling guilty, feeling fucked up, feeling jumbled. Sometimes I just like to blame my own self but sometimes I want people understand me and think about my feelings too. UUGH.
    But...I have to face the fact and let it flow. My life is such a long journey, my age is still 15th and I'm still young. But sometimes I feel so lucky, why? Because at my age, I've got so many lessons that is a provision for my future later to solve my problems.

Because, there's a rainbow after the rainstorm.
There's a bright day after the dark night.
There's a sunrise after the sunset.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.-Kelly Clarkson

The sweetest thing brings the bitter things.

Dear you....

I'm just a girl who wants to make friends.

I'm just a girl who wants to express what I feel.

I'm just a girl who love social media.

I'm just a girl who wants to be who am I.

I always make mistakes, I always stumble when I walked. 

My parents always mad when I've got a bad score at one of my subjects.

Sometimes I'm wrong at doing something. 

I hurt you.

I'm just a human being.

Why it's so hard to love you? 

Why it's so hard to make you love me the way I am?

This is me..... Why can you just except me.

Life is hard.

I always asking my self...

"All this time I still care?" 

Pathethic.

I just like...

"I just forgive you simply because I still want you in my life."

Poor you.

It's just...

"When the only person who can make you feel better also can make you cry."

Sucks.

I want...

"Go back when the things were simple."

Yeah.

life is hard.

ISENG BANGET.

My friend, called Gita called me and asked me to came to her classroom. She asked me to brought my laptop too. And than she opened Google.com and she typed my name.

"What will you do?"

"I'll show you something, you must be surprised!"

Suddenly, I've become kepo. 

And than she clicked Search button and WALA!!!

I'm speechless. My name and my websites searchable in Google.com until page 9!!!

And than, Gita change the search type into "gambar" or picture.

And there's my pictures until page 3 on Google.com search for "gambar" or picture.
I'm very very surprised. Wkwk. Eh, there's my friends and families photos too. Funny huh? I can't speak any words anymore.
Thankyou Google.com!

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Parents.

Yesterday night, my friend.... I haven't to say her name right? Okay, just call her "Ndut".
She makes sad pm on Blackberry Messenger and I ask her. And then it's begin from.......

• Me: What's going on?
• Ndut: Mom....
• Me: What's wrong with ur mom?
• Ndut: She blame on me, again.... And she said that she won't care about me and my sister anymore....
• Me: Your mom said that? But, why?
• Ndut: I know my mom has a lot of problems and she also had to take care of me and my sister... I'm scared....
  
  (Ndut has no father anymore because her mom and dad get divorce when she was studied at Kindergarten)
  
• Me: Sorry.... Can you tell me from the first 'till now? Cause, I'm a lil bit don't understand....
• Ndut: First, it's just a simple and small problem. And after that, she getting angry. I can't even explain all to you, it's to difficult... Please, don't tell to anybody that I tell you about this problem.
• Me: Of course I wouldn't tell anybody. Just say "yes mom" if your mom start to blame on you. Okay?
• Ndut: I'm starting to cry, dant.....
• Me: Stop crying, come on..... Calm down, just pray to Allah for your mom that she was strong. If your mom tell you something, just do it. Okay?
• Ndut: Amen, yaAllah!
• Me: You have to obey your mom. Calm down, just pray to Allah.
• Ndut: I always pray to Allah, dant. I'm sad to look at my mom to has a lot of problems and solve them by her self....
• Me: Cupcupcup, don't be sad. Just calm down, okay?
• Ndut: *hug emoticon*

That's Ndut's story about her problems. 

And now.... I have a story too, it's from my.... Just call her "Behel".

It's just a simple chat on Blackberry Mesengger, and I'm the one who begin this all. HHA. Because I care.

*skip*

• Me: Behel, how's your mom and dad? I bet they better now than yet. Right?
• Behel: No, they still like yesterday. And now, they not talking to each other.....
• Me: So, they getting worse?
• Behel: Yeah right. In the evening, my mom said
  "I'll report this to the office. You have to be ready from now if there's something. will happen. Your brother and your sister is ready, and the last is you. I bet live alone rather than like now, hurt."
  
  (Behel's dad cheating and siri marriage and he's now has a little baby from the second one."
  
• Behel: *cont* YaAllah, I envy my friends who have a normal family without any problems like mine.
• Me: Calm, you have to pray to Allah. If they have.... Ehem.... Divorce, just let it be. Your mom is trying, but your dad won't change. Your mom's right. Than pain, better end this. You have to pray if they really wanna divorce. 
• Behel: Yeah right, I can't stand looking at my mom treat like that by my dad. I always thinking, the courtship when cheated will hurt, especially those who are married. Thankyou for your support!
• Me: Yeah, that's right! Cupcupcup *hug emoticon*
• Behel: Thankyou very much dant!
• Me: Pleasure! Pray to Allah, he always hear His servant.
• Behel: Always!

Anyone who see this post, I wish you all not wasting you parents okay? Because, there's a lot of kids who wants to have a normal family without any problems in it. Parents.

Do you ever feel....

You fight for someone you love but, they just like idgaf?

Do you ever feel....

You give everything you have but, they just like a blown wind?

Do you ever feel.....

Loving someone with all of your heart but, they love you just half of their heart?

Do you ever feel.....

When you need someone, they're not beside you. But when they need you, you always there?

Do you ever feel..... 

Cheated? Hurt? Lied? Unrequited? Disappointed?

Do you always patient, forgive them? Or, maybe.. You're not wrong, but to bring the situation back to normal, you say sorry first even that you are not wrong?

Hurt, rite. Sometimes, just like we always think about their feelings and keep it good but they just like idgaf.

I'm tired. Being good person isn't easy. 

I'm Tired, and I always say that thousand times a day.

I waste half of my life waiting for something impossible to get him back.

I hurt my self for waiting something I don't know when he'll comeback.

I dream about him and that's the reason I hate wake up from my bed while my dreams isn't over yet.

I re-read my diary. There's a lot of happy and sad strories about us.

I look back. And I wish that you're there, come to me and say that you'll stay.

I think that this is some test from God.

I waste my money and go somewhere that can 'hush' my boredness.

I cried in the middle of the night. Hugging the doll that you gave to me.

I ask my self.. "Am I ever cross your mind?", "Are you have being in love with someone else?".

I pray to God.. "Please, don't fall in love with someone else."

I try to be a better person.

I hate how easily I remember the things you would rather forget.

My heart breaks a little when I hear your name...

The more I try to move on, the more I feel alone..

Every day I missed you more...

Hey :)

extra support+extra patient.

HI BLOG! long time no post, kangen tau.
Okay, langsung ajaya ke cerita.

Ya kamu tau siapa lagi yang suka aku ceritain disini. Tak lain dan tak bukan, Denies. Dia sibuk skarang. Aku suka itu. Dia gak lagi nganggur dan leyeh-leyeh sama temennya, ngabisin uang dsb yang negative. Dia skarang jadi photographer di sekolahnya.
OYA! Btw, skarang aku udah kelas 9 \=D/ instantly now, Denies is 10grade at Senior High School. Sekolah kita beda skarang. Denies pun punya teman baru yang aku gakenal dan gatau wujud mereka seperti apa. Aku rada males sekolah skarang, soalnya Denies ngga satu sekolah lagi sama aku :-(

*back to story*

Denies skarang sibuk mondar-mandi jeprat-jepret pake camera Nikon nya. Hasil potret nya pun bagus. Aku amaze, skarang photography ku malah hancur. Camera nganggur dirumah. Fiuh~

Sibuk = Gada / Minimnya waktu buat sama aku :)

Secara garis besar bisa disimpulkan seperti itu. Aku kadang 'agak' jealous sama pekerjaannya. Dia hadir terus, sedangkan denganku? Engga. Tapi, harus aku support dengan cara ya... Mandiri, ngga nakal, blajar giat dsb yang bisa aku lakuin sendiri tanpa dia. Dan ngingetin dia buat sholat, makan dan blajar pun tak lupa.
Hm, kadang rasa kangen akan mu terlintas lho :"-3 #EAEA. Tapi, slalu aku control smua biar aku ga ganggu kegiatan-kegiatan mu :-D

ILOVEYOUWITHOUTANYSPACEINIT<3x

SMS.

Me: Cingg... Drmn? :/

Cingg: Tangannya Cingg kena gergaji *ngumpetin jempol*

Me: Yaampun liat, siniii -_- knapa bisa Cingg? *sambil ngobatin*

Cingg: :( Gapapah....

Me: Kok bisa Cingg? *ngambil air, handuk sama betadine* Cingg drtd ngapain sih? hm.. :(

Cingg: Di klinik :( tetanus, tadi maghrib2 Cingg ngegergaji, ga sholat :/

Me: YALLAH CINGG!!! :'( tetanus ntar kalo infeksi gimana?!!!! Harus di amputasi gimana?!!! :'( Cingg bandel sih! Haduh, trus trus ini sama syapa Cingg? :'(

Cingg: Sama mamah berdua :( Maaf :' udah dikasih kaya semprot2 gitu kok? :( dalem banget Tta  nusuknya :( tadi dikasih Dettol periiiih dikit :/

Me: Yaampun!! :'( besok kalo sholat, sholat! Harus sholat! Pokoknya, Cingg tau kan maghrib banyak hantunya, gaboleh lagi diulang kaya gitu ya Cinggyah! :'( duh ingin jenguk, gimana tangannya Cingg? :'
Cingg: Ehhmm *maunangis* hmm, atit biru warnanya :'(
Me: Cupcupcup, aduh Cingg :( moga gapapa deh ya Cingg duh :( jangan diulang lagi, umm trus ngetik ini gimana? Pake satu tangan? :' duh Cingg sih pentalitan u,u

*gadibales*

Me: Kalo perih kalo sakit gausah smsan, ntar Tta telfon ajayah pake yang m3 :'
Cingg: Iyah Tta, ingin telfon kangen :(
Me: Cupcupcup Cacingg, iya nanti di telfon yah, cupcupcup sekarang dimana? Jagoan nya Tta kok nangis sih, hm?:'

Cingg: Cingg dirumah daritadi nonton OVJ :p

( ˉДˉ)-σ Щ(ºДºщ) ◎(￣^￣)====◎)>_<”) 

PICNIC! Pangandaran - Jakarta

HI!
I wanna tell you about my trip with my school, Sultan Agung 1 Islamic Junior High School. VERY EXCITING! Even when I'm back at home, my voice was hoarse and exhausted -_-

First place to visit is Pangandaran Beach.
At half past 7, we gathered at mozaik room at school and pray isya' together (that time, I was on my period so..I'm not joining the pray). After that, there's some notices about the trip. First place that us will visit is Pangandaran Beach at West Java. I'm sitting with my chair-mate, Zela. Our bus number is 3 and we sit at the fifth chair at the left bus's side.

foto malam pertama di bus :D

sstt!! Zela is sleeping

After I took some photos, I slept too. The time is like so fast, when I woke up it's 5 am. The bus stopped at a Karya Bakti Restaurant. Some of them are praying shubuh and after that, we have our breakfast. Woops, my friends are all very...veryy hungry until the foods are run out -_- I just eat a fried rice. We are there until 6 am.

Gita

Karina, are you 'galau'? :p

Condition at Bus 3 (back)

Woops...Before we visit the Pangandaran Beach, we visit a beautiful place named Green Canyon. Green Canyon is a lake with a green color. I'm sure that's a lake or river but I'm feeling lucky that I've visit it!

(re: left) Aku, Gita, Zela, mba Yuma :D

(re: left) Gita, Zela

(re: left) Mba Yuma, me.

Gita

Zela

(re: left) Karina and Ega at the different boat

Karina dan Ega :D

Zela

mba Yuma :D

After Green Canyon, we continued our way to Pangandaran Beach. Before we visit Pangandaran Beach, we visited Batu Hiu. Just a small beach with a stone that the stone's shape is a shark's mouth. 

BATU HIU

(re: left) me, ega, zela, gita, karina, mba yuma

(re: left) mba yuma, zela, gita, ega, karina, bu aisyah an aqidah akhlaq's teacher and bu har an Indonesian teacher

(re: left) zela, me

(re: left) anna, mahda

Mahda, Ana

NERDS!

And than, we continued (again) our way to Pangandaran Beach an take some photos at the bus while on the way to Pangandaran Beach.

At Pangandaran Beach, me, Mahda and Anna take some walk at the beach's side. And I know something now, Mahda is afraid of waves. I don't know...afraid of being wet or what hahahaha. Me and Anna scare Mahda. wkwk. After we are done take some walk, we washed our feet at a public toilet and than suddenly I scream... "DOMPET KU ILANG!" yay, my wallet is gone -_- I'm panic, Anna confused and Mahda..very confused. And when we back to the bus, I'm searching my wallet under my sit and finally.... "Alhamdulillah, jatuh dibawah tempat duduk", everybody lookin' at me with a like a silly face hahaha. Me? I'm just smiling and shy because I'm making everybody panic :p at Pangandaran Beach, everybody busy with their own activity. Take a bath, praying, tidying up their things, eat, sleep, take some photos, walking-walking, shopping etc. I bought an ice cream..em, not just 1 but 2 because I was thirsty and I wanted an ice cream HAHA. And finally, the bus is starting to move.

(re: left) zela, ann

I slept much while on the road to Jakarta and yeah, the camera's battery and my cellphone are empty. So I can't take any pictures again at the bus. And than we stopped at a restaurant and I don't know what it's name. I ate a fried chicken and soup. And it's 4 hours more to get to Jakarta. We arrived at hotel (seriously, that's not a hotel) at half past 3. 

My room number is 215 with Mahda, Karina, April, Dheak and Dina. Dheak and Dina are from 8B Class. Because we've sleep much at the bus, we choose to playing cards. We play tepok nyamuk and minuman. So fun!!! We've spend 2 hours for playing cards. And I'm hearing that Germany has lost from Italy at football world championship UUGGH! After that, I wanna visit Anna's room. And when I asked some people at Anna's room, they said that Anna is taking a bath. HA! And I'm oking with Anna by turn off and on the bathroom's lamp, the place that Anna is taking a bath and than Anna is like get mad and speak loudly and mocking me :p wkwk. She don't know that I'm the one who turn off and on the bathroom's lamp :p

8Crew!

Nah! This picture is taken by pak Hasan, my sport's teacher. He's hurry because we will visit Dufan, that's why the picture is tilt -_-

DO FUN! = DUFAN! 
Zela is getting dizzy because I don't know so, I enjoy the view.

zela nya pusing :(

condition of Bus 3, peaceful (front)

condition of Bus 3, rusuh -_- (back)

sunny

Mahdanya bobok.....

FINALLY!!!!!

We've arrived at Ancol's area. First place to visit is Gelanggang Samudera Ancol. At Gelanggang Samudera Ancol, there's some knick-knack. We ride Ubur-Ubur

(re: left) me, Gita, Zela, Karina riding Ubur-Ubur.

(re: left) Karina, Zela

(re: left) Gita, me

awkward moment.....

Out from Gelanggang Samudera Ancol, we've to pray dzhuhur and asar and thaaannnn....DUFAN! omg. we walked towards Ancol and .... it went rather far and tiring. Finally, huh....it was soooooooo exhausting! And we've arrived and than we tried the rides!

Kora-Kora
First rides we've tried is Kora-Kora. It is a swinging boat! Why boat? Because the shape is a boat. I, Zela, Anna and Mahda sit at the front. We met Balqis and Nisa from 8B class. I can't scream loudly, because this cold ugh -_-

Histeria
Frome the name, we can imagine that the rides can make the person who ride it will be histeric! Histeria. When we are queue, it's a longggg longgg queue row. And we hear someone is screaming while riding the Histeria. I'm like..omg. Once, I choose to go back and just see my friend but nah, I'm here and I've try all the rides! 

zela gaya, aku tegang.....

wajahku

AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! awkward -_-

After riding Histeria, we had our lunch at Columbus Fried Chicken.

• Bianglala
  When we wanted to ride Bianglala, the queue is so long as same as when we queue the Histeria. And it's our time! Me and Zela, Anna and Mahda and there's 2 boys that we don't know who they are haha. Because the maximum capacities are 6 people so....yup, the 2 stranger boys are in for somplete the capacities. And I'm imagine if we are fallen down...I'm scared. And the wind makes our Bianglala shaken' -_- 

• Rumah Miring
  
  Rumah Miring is the weeiiirrrdeesstt rides. The house is tilt and makes us so hard to walk around. When we were entering the Rumah Miring, it feels dizzy. Seriously.
• Niagara-Gara
  
  Niagara-gara can make you wet! I've been at Trans Studio before, there's a rides that same as Niagara-gara but I didn't remember what's the ride's name hehe. When I, Zela, Anna and Mahda was queued, we talked much while waiting for the queue. But there's some people who can't wait or maybe very excited so they yell "Maju Maju!!" and they're annoy us -_-
  After that, this is our time to ride the Niagara-gara, it's a boat. And omg..I'm so nerveous, scared but excited!!! And we across the road leading to the top, just like a roller coaster. And when heading down the road, my heart felt like sank. I screamed so loud. because at that time I was sitting in the front row
• Rumah Jail
  
  When we headed to the Istana Boneka,  we stopped into Rumah Jail. Hearing it's name, I began to kepo++ and than, we entered it. This Rumah Jail is full off mirrors that makes us dizzy and makes us hard to searched the way out from this Rumah Jail -_-

Zela and me, when at Rumah Jail. 

• Istana Boneka
  
  AND THAN FINALLY. WE ARE IN THE PLACE THAT WE ALL HAVE WAITED TO GO THERE. Simple, but this place rimends me about my childhood. Istana Boneka, a place that full of dolls! Zela thought that we can't visit it, but Alhamdulillah..we can make it! 

Istana Boneka's building

And finally, we have to get back at the bus becuase we'll back to Semarang. Zela walk so fast, and we were seperated. But I'm still with Anna and Mahda. And there's April following us. There's an awkward story before we reached the bus. There's a hot dog stand, because I'm very hungry so I buy the hot dog without chili. Anna, Mahda and April talking about Wagiman and Subardjo (you don't have to know who are they), omg...They are veryyy make mee sick -_- because we both very exciting to talk about Wagiman and Subardjo, we choose the wring way to get back to the bus! We almost farrrr awwwaayy from the place where our bus stopped. That is veryyy awkward moment!
I can't forget it, because this is very exciting moments. Tired, sleepy but we all are having fun!